The Four Agreements is a book authored by Don Miguel Ruiz.
I was drawn to re-read this book recently (its been in my collection for many many years) and was really amazed at how the messages offered within it provide a reminder of the crucial value of emotional self-care and how we approach our relationship with our inner self.
The Four Agreements are:
Listen to me chat about my take on the First Agreement below
Diving deeper into The Four Agreements
Agreement 1: Be impeccable with your word. ”
I originally thought this meant how we speak out-loud in all areas of life, but now understand its also very much about how we speak, think and feel about us… having awareness of our inner voice.
“The word is the most powerful tool you have as a human; it is a tool of magic. But like a sword with two edges, your word can create the most beautiful dream, or your word can destroy everything around you… Your word is pure magic, and misuse of your word is black magic”.
Think about times when another has said something hurtful about you without even realising it, and years later you are still feeling the sting / poison of their words as you replay what they said in your mind. Were those words not a form of black magic and destruction?
Taking it further we can then turn this concept inwards; you see the author says impeccability means ‘without sin against yourself’. Thus as we turn our poison, self hate or anger towards ourselves we are committing a ‘sin’. Infact self-rejection is the biggest sin of all.
To live free of this is at the heart of the self-care I teach; to practice self compassion, self kindness and be kind with your inner voice.
“Being impeccable with your word is the correct use of your energy; it means to use your energy in the direction of truth and love for yourself.”
My take on the Second Agreement:
Agreement 2: Don’t take anything personally
Do you care what others think about you? Does this focus on external opinions run your life and make or break your day?
I love the phrase “what others think of me is none of my business”, yet learning to disconnect our need to care about other peoples opinions is where the real inner work begins.
As we learn to disentangle ourselves from the need to be validated, loved and approved of by others, our lives can reach a whole new level of freedom and meaning. Free from the poision of other peoples words and opinions, we can simply be happy as we are. And if unhappy, acknowledge that is a chance for us to do more inner work to change how we feel about ourselves.
In therapy session we often discuss how one cannot change the world around them, and we cannot change the actions, thoughts and words of anyone else. We can only change our own. Therefore the place of your true power is in taking responsibility for your own inner work, and releasing the needs and views of others.
Easier said than done right! But a powerful intention to work towards none the less.
[Videos on Agreements 3 + 4 coming soon]
Are you practicing self-compassion and being impeccable with your word?
I will be doing a feature video on each of the four agreements each week so stay tuned for more on this topic to come and the next 3 agreements soon….
About the author
Bree Taylor Molyneaux is a Brisbane based women’s self-care and wellness coach specialising in emotional self care. Read more of her blogs on self care and essential oil wellness here.
She most often supports women with challenges in fertility, pregnancy + birth, birth trauma, motherhood + parenting and travels Australia offering workshops on self-care and wellness solutions for families.
As a trained a Clinical Hypnotherapist, NLP practitioner, HypnoBirthing® educator, and personal renewal facilitator, Bree also supports women all around the world with 1on1 coaching and also has a range of hypnosis downloads available on iTunes.