Life continues to get more bizzare and I’m sure I don’t need to tell you that we are living in in challenging times.
Its been two years of this Corona Pandemic, and now SEQ & NSW have been hit by devastating floods.
Stress and trauma level are high, meeting our basic needs is more important than ever – and yet one thing is often overlooked… The importance of human connection.
Right now there is more segregation, disconnection and isolation in our world than there has ever been in my lifetime. Yet beneath all the fear, what’s true is most of us still WANT and NEED to connect with other like minded humans in order to feel healthy, safe and loved.
Trauma is something that’s become normalised so much in our society that we rarely realise how much it really does affect us.
We are primates first and foremost, which means our bodies are designed to hold stress and trauma for short periods of time only and then discharge it. Without this discharge we begin to accumulate it in our nervous systems.
Residual trauma at whatever level (ranging from survivors guilt, to being caught in the floods, to loosing a home or helping friends who have lost theirs) can all have quite a profound impact on our nervous system.. which in turn affects our ability to feel safe in the world, and then inevitably to feel loved or connected with another.
What has soothed me most profoundly through recent devastating events and my own trauma over past years, is my own Tantric embodiment practices – letting my body clear the trauma out as often as possible – and healthy human connection via platonic touch (aka co-regulation).
As humans we are designed to live in communities, not in isolation. And in spaces of communal living physical connection, smiles and hugs are normal and commonplace.
The past two years of this pandemic has certainly highlighted the impact on us when this kind of connection isn’t possible – suddenly we were forced to social distance or isolate and mental health and suicide rates skyrocketed.
Living in a modern world, it can be easy to forget that physical and emotional connection are literally fundamental needs of a human – these things are necessary for us to move beyond basic survival and begin to flourish. Without these needs being met we will over time begin to wilt like a neglected plant thirsting for water…
Most parent know their children need platonic touch to feel safe – its very instinctual to provide this to someone we love via a hug or a cuddle. Yet as adults rarely provide the same thing to ourselves or to our own inner child.
Our need for platonic touch is especially apparent in people who are single or live alone; they can go days or weeks without healthy human touch. The consequence of this on our nervous system is high, as we go into survival mode, get depressed or numb out, while slowly the parts of us that make us so innately human begin to shut down.
“We need 4 hugs a day for survival
We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance
We need 12 Hugs a day for Growth”
~ Virgina Satir
The reality is, we need all touch and all healthy human connection to thrive and evolve as spiritual beings.
Learning to soothe our nervous systems in such ways is key to the underlying foundations of emotional intimacy and soothing things like attachment wounds and relational trauma.
All of this is what the Intimacy work I offer is about.
Tantra encourages that we cultivate a willingness to explore these parts of ourselves without judgement. exploring and moving beyond our trauma, and into deeper connection. For once we feel safe, regulated and welcomed at this very simple primal level, real growth and evolution then becomes possible.
This is one of my key desires for you in facilitating Tantric Intimacy Workshop–
To create a space where all of us is fully welcomed, seen, heard, safe, and met with unconditional love.
To be clear, Tantra is not all about sex – it is about life force, energy, heart connection and most of all emotional intimacy with ourselves and with others.
If you are interested to learn more about this kind of thing in a safe fully clothed space, checkout the Intimacy & Attraction workshop here. This evening is suitable for newbies through to experienced tantricas because Intimacy work is truly an endless well of depth, and we always work at the level we are most comfortable.
It is my pleasure to offer a space where you can deeply heartfelt human connection – so if you are desiring some touch, companionship or just the relaxing company of other humans check it out.
With blessings & Love
About the author
Bree Taylor Molyneaux is a Brisbane based Intimacy and Embodiment coach. As an emerging leader in Women’s Embodiment, Tantra Sensuality and positive sexuality, Bree is passionate about living a fully embodied & present life.
A trained Embodiment Facilitator, Clinical Hypnotherapist & NLP Master practitioner, Bree has years of therapy experience under her belt. She supports men and women worldwide with 1on1 coaching, Embodiment circles and mixed gender group workshops to explore the world of Tantric intimacy & sexual polarity.