It was one of my closest friends birthdays recently. Having known each other for 15 years, I was eager to attend this rather unique ‘rite of passage’ ceremony for her birthday, focused on supporting her around her birthday and as she approaches menopause.

The simple but powerful ceremonial process we underwent created such a powerful desire within me to connect deeply with other women, that I really wanted to share it with you.

What happened

We were asked to bring a gift for our friend along with some luscious food to share. The ceremony began as all women of varying ages gathered and pondered what was to come. When everything was ready, we entered a room which had been setup like a sacred temple space – with a goddess statue, an alter, rugs and floor decorated with flower petals, candles and chocolates, and cushions for each of us in a circle around the inviting space.

We then spent the next few hours doing ommmms and meditating, telling our friend what we loved and admired about her, shared our blessings for her (as we each lit a candle), giving her gifts one by one and really honouring her as a woman in a wide range of ways.

But one of the most powerful parts was near the conclusion of the ceremony. She was encouraged to lay down on the floor atop several cushions, and we each massaged a part of her body in an ultimate pampering experience – one woman did her feet, another the hands, another the arms, and so on.  I have no idea how long we did this – I would guess it was for at-least 30 minutes – and yet the time flew as we all gave in such a heartfelt way.

foot pamper and self-care for women

This simple but nurturing process was for my friend the most amazing part of all. She was so fully pampered and nurtured by her close friends, eight women tending to her body lovingly and gently while she relaxed and let go.

She said many times to us afterwards – “every woman needs something like this” – and we all agreed that no-one need wait for a birthday celebration to gather with her heartfelt woman friends to care, share and be present with each other.

Now let me be upfront here, I totally get that meditating, lighting candles and chanting ommm is not for everyone, but what I took away from this amazing experience was so much more than that. It was about the real value and importance of gathering with other women in a supported loving space.

What I took away

Many times during the afternoon I noticed the joy we collectively seemed to feel, as we lovingly nurtured our friend, physically and emotionally filling her cup as only friends can do. It was an experience of true heartfelt giving.

Afterwards I reflected on the right that every woman has to be cared for and held in reverence, by those she holds most dear. I felt the power of this loving space so deeply that I came away from that experience WANTING to connect with my tribe of women more. Wanting to enjoy a heartfelt connect with them. Wanting to not only talk, tap into the power that 2, 5 or 10 women can create when they gather together for a common purpose of connection.

I also began to wonder, what if all young women experienced events like this; a rite of passage to celebrate the beginning of womanhood (menstruating) and at various stages of her life, not just for a wedding, blessingway or baby shower.

I even wondered how my own views of my body would have been different, if I was encouraged to acknowledge and respect the body in the same way as we did on that day. Because for me when I was 14, menstruation was not welcomed in anyway .. in-fact it was almost feared or seen as gross by immature girls ashamed of their bodies.

But it didnt have to be, just as wherever you are in your life a celebration for feminine form can be so powerful. So I guess my most powerful take away was that together, collectively us women can achieve amazing things when we all hold the space for each other. And for ourselves.

sacred circle herbs

Which brings me to some reflections for you 

  1. Are you are making enough time for self care on a more regular basis?
  2. Consider how you can make time for yourself starting today (ie. Arrange a cup of tea with friends, meditate, walk on the beach, extra sleep in)
  3. Contemplate who in your circle of friends you appreciate and admire, and ask yourself if you have ever told them how you really feel about each other?
  4. Talk to your close female friends about simple or sacred ways you can nurture each other for your birthdays, as a rite of passage into motherhood, or for any reason at all that you like!!


many blessings

xxx  Bree


About the author

Bree Taylor Molyneaux is a Brisbane based happiness coach, clinical hypnotherapist, HypnoBirthing® practitioner, self-care and personal renewal facilitator, mother and wife. She founded Aspire Hypnotherapy, coaches women in a wide range of areas, runs restorative + self-care retreats, and has a range of and hypnosis downloads available. Read more about Bree here.